Some things are just made to go together… Comfy sofas and Netflix. Wellies and puddles. You and your other half. Bridesmaids at your wedding.
But hang on a minute. What if you don’t want to have bridesmaids at your wedding? What if you’d rather walk down the aisle unaccompanied by a retinue of females?
First off, what’s good about having bridesmaids?
Well, the reason they are there is to help and support you. You may think that you are super cool, super organised and super relaxed about your wedding day. But when you’re sitting there having your hair and make-up done, you may well want some female company to hold your hand and relax a little with. And have a bit of a nervous giggle.
Your girlfriends will also help you to get dressed and tell you that you’re looking wonderful. It’s traditional that the chief bridesmaid keeps a little bag for you for emergency grooming for example tissues, lipstick, mascara and makes sure that you are looking your best at all times.
That’s something to know that will make you feel a lot more comfortable when you feel a bit teary eyed and emotional. You can rely on your bridesmaids to keep a close eye on you.
Another thing that you should consider is that wedding photographs without attendants can look a little empty. And who will the groomsmen have to talk to if you don’t have bridesmaids?
Having beautifully dressed bridesmaids walking behind you as you enter the ceremony is certainly going to give your big day the wow factor and just think of the fun you’ll have deciding on your bridesmaid dress theme and the flowers. But just make sure that they are happy with what they are going to be wearing or you won’t get the photographs you are after!
When it comes to photographs, having bridesmaids can also mean that you get to have a bit of a breather during the wedding photographs. The photographer is going to want to take photographs of your bridesmaids, especially if you have cute little flower girls and you won’t have to be in all of them, so it’s an opportunity to take a bit of time out, look around and enjoy your day.
As for friends who have been particularly good to you, asking them to be your maid of honour or asking their children to be flower girls and pageboys is a very personal way of saying thank-you to them.
If you are having a small, intimate wedding then you might quite rightly feel that having bridesmaids is unnecessary. If you’re having a wedding in a city venue with a chic lunch for 20 or so afterwards, then you probably won’t want attendants.
You could still ask your best friend to be your maid of honour however. She doesn’t need to come dressed as a traditional bridesmaid. In fact, if you have an evening wedding you could specify an evening dress code for everybody and then your bestie can come looking glamorous and ready for dinner and dancing.
Another reason not to have bridesmaids is that you’re inundated with requests of: “Can I be your bridesmaid?” and you can’t say yes to everybody. Same applies to flower girls; you may be worried that if you turn any of the youngsters and their mums and dads down then you’ll offend them. So it’s much simpler to not have any attendants at all if that’s what’s best for you!
What we will say is that whoever you choose to be your bridesmaid, especially your chief bridesmaid, is going to have to be up to the task. You want girlfriends who are reliable, dependable and won’t crumble in a crisis. Not friends who can be a bit flaky, likely to have too much champagne, be over-emotional or no help at all.
On balance, we’d probably say yes to the bridesmaid option. But it’s certainly something you need to think carefully about.