We’ve just had a leap year, 29th February, when a woman can turn the tables and ask a man to marry her.
Tradition says however that it’s really a man’s role to pop the question, which got us to thinking about roles in general. Just how much should your other half be involved in wedding planning and how much should you go it alone?
It’s all about communication and balance
And it’s really just between the two of you.
If you’re happy to split the wedding planning 50/50 then that’s wonderful. Or maybe you’re the sort of bride who’s always had a fixed idea in her mind of exactly how she wants her wedding day to look and nothing is going to sway you from this path.
In which case we think you may need to have a little re think? It’s your fiancé’s wedding too and unless your fiancé is really happy to completely hand the reins of the day over to you, then you really need to divvy up the responsibilities between you both.
To begin with, we think that it’s up to him to organise the groom’s party. He needs to decide who his best man and ushers are going to be. What they are going to wear (is it cravats or ties) and whether their waistcoats are going to match your chosen wedding colour theme.
Trust us on this one. If he really wants to take charge of this then you should let him. You can let him know what wedding colours you’ve chosen for your bridesmaids, your flowers and your wedding décor so he can match up the groomsmen accordingly. Because if he lets everyone turn up in clashing colours then you’re not going to be too happy about it.
What about if you want to split the responsibilities?
In this case, we’d say that you should have carte blanche to do what you want when it comes to:
- Your wedding dress
- Your flowers
- Who your bridesmaids are
- Your wedding accessories (shoes, hairdo, makeup etc.)
After all, you want him to have a few surprises.
Stuff you can work on together could include:
- Food at your wedding
- Drink at your wedding
- Whether you have a band or a DJ
- The music they play
- Your wedding cake
- What sort of photography and Videography you have
And the man’s department?
Traditionally, it’s up to the groom to choose:
- His ushers and best man
- What they wear
- Where you go on honeymoon
- Sort the wedding cars and transport
- The wedding rings
Although things have moved on a bit and some of the above, notably the honeymoon and wedding rings, might be things that you want to have a say on yourself.
So how should you handle it?
We’d say, as usual, that it’s all down to communication. You’re probably both very busy juggling jobs, maybe children and the responsibilities of different lives coming together. So sit down with your laptops (or maybe look in to a wedding journal), write a list of what needs doing and decide who is going to do what and what jobs you are going to share. This also avoids any arguments later on about “Well, I planned the whole wedding without any help from you” or the alternative which is “I didn’t get to organise anything in the wedding the way I wanted to”, which are both scenarios you want to avoid.
One thing you can work on together
The look of your venue and reception is going to be very important to the two of you. It’s when your invited guests get to experience the ‘wow’ factor and you really set the atmosphere of your wedding day.
One way of getting some ideas together is by the two of you talking to one of our stylists about what you like, the look you want to achieve and how you’re going to get it.
Our stylists will then talk to the two of you about what you can do for your budget, how you can make things look amazing and what the end result you would like to be. If there’s an area of wedding planning that you want to be involved in together then this is certainly a good way to proceed.
Getting in touch with one of our stylists doesn’t commit you to anything but talking through your ideas together is probably just what you could do with.
We have stylists all over the country so there’s sure to be somebody near you. So get in touch today and make an appointment. You won’t regret it and it could just make all the difference.