There’s no two ways about it. Planning your wedding is going to take up a bit of time – even if you’ve decided on a fairly simple day limited to just a few friends and family guests.

Twenty years ago you wouldn’t have had the options of Facebook groups, e mail, texting and Pinterest boards to help you plan your big day.

You’d have been limited to a landline, posting letters with stamps and maybe faxing details.

But was it so bad as all that?

With the rise of digital technology we can all be a bit tempted to overshare and overdo things.

And in any case, not everybody is digital savvy. Some of your friends may not ‘do’ Facebook or Pinterest. (Although we have to say that we’re not necessarily including the older generation in this statement. ‘Silver’ surfers like your grandparents can be fabulous at social media and have a very busy Facebook feed.)

So what are the do’s and don’ts when it comes to using digital technology to help you plan your wedding? Here’s our opinion.

 Save The Dates

In our view these are perfect e mail material. Use your e mail provider’s stationery templates to create personalised e mail stationery for yourself with personal photographs.

If you’ve a theme colour in mind for your wedding day then this can be part of the look of the e mail too. The advantage of Save The Dates by e mail is that they’re instant, free and easy to send out, particularly if the recipient lives abroad. The disadvantage is that you don’t know whether somebody has received them or if they’ve gone to spam. So best to ask people to acknowledge them when you send.

 Wedding Invitations

Call us old school but we think it’s best if these arrive the classical way, addressed in a proper envelope with a proper stamp.

There’s nothing like receiving a crisp invitation through the post and being able to pop it on show on the mantelpiece.

You could send your wedding invitations by e mail – it’s your call – but perhaps limit this to relatives who live where the mail delivery is uncertain or students on a gap year (of course, this may also apply to your silver surfer grandparent who’ve gone on a gap year!)

Facebook Groups/Events

You might be tempted to set up a private group for your wedding day. Two things. Make sure it is private so that anybody not invited doesn’t have their nose put out of joint. Also, don’t post too much. Although you’re really excited about your big day, people won’t want updates about it all the time and in any case it’s lovely if your wedding day can also include some elements of surprise.


Set up a private board and it’s a fabulous way of getting all your wedding ideas together that you find when you’re browsing online. Pin dress ideas you like; hairstyles, shoes, bridesmaid dresses, venue décor, stationery and anything else that springs to mind.

If you then want to show your hairdresser/florist/bridesmaids/venue stylist the look you’re after, then all you have to do is share the Pinterest board or take a screen grab and e mail it to them.

It’s a perfect way of online scrapbooking and cherrypicking the best of what’s out there. You can add to your Pinterest board all the time too.

Wedding Web Sites

There are several free wedding web sites around which allow you to set up a wedding website just for the two of you – with details of the date, the venue, local accommodation, gift lists and the like. You could send a personalised invitation to it along with your save the dates so your guests can get started on booking accommodation/transport/deciding what they are going to wear. Your website will have its own password for your guests so it’s private and non-invitees won’t be able to look.


You need to think carefully about whether you want your friends to take snaps on their mobiles at your wedding and during the reception. Getting married is a serious occasion and you may well not want to be distracted as you are saying your vows (and many churches and register offices will ban mobile photography anyway).

And texting during the ceremony is a real no-no.

On the other hand, impromptu snaps at your reception can capture the mood fantastically well.

The digital rules for wedding planning etiquette are really:

  • Don’t overshare and post too much
  • Keep things relatively private
  • Don’t expect everybody to be able to ‘do’ digital
  • Have a back-up plan
  • Make it work for you

Have you anything else to add?


(Featured image via Invisalign).