It’s weird but sometimes the one thing a couple forget on their wedding day isn’t the rings or booking the transport.
It’s forgetting that the day is all about them.
You want to have a wedding and invite your family and friends, that’s great. But the pair of you could go off and get married quietly somewhere, with just a few witnesses to make it legal. You don’t have to invite all and sundry. Just the people you really want to be there.
So what’s that got to do with having no children at your wedding? Well, as soon as you announce your engagement you’re going to get a lot of pressure from certain people asking questions like:
If you don’t do things the way people should, you might be made to feel very guilty. This brings us around to the subject of children.
You absolutely don’t have to have children at your wedding if you don’t want to. It’s your decision, your invitation and you invite who you want to be there.
First off, if you’re having a chic city wedding, maybe getting married in a smart hotel and then having a very elegant cocktail party and a sit down lunch, then it’s probably not the best venue for kids to come along to anyway.
The same applies if you’re planning on getting married abroad, maybe in a palazzo in Venice or on a beach in the Caribbean.
Some people just assume that when they’re invited to your wedding their kids are invited too, but bringing along teenagers who will add to the party is rather different from two-year-olds who could well be noisy during the most emotional parts of the ceremony.
If people ask why children aren’t invited you could say that your budget won’t allow it, the venue won’t allow it, or just say that you’d prefer the day to be adults-only.
First off, you just put the adults’ names on the invitations. If you want to make it doubly clear, include the names of those invited on the RSVP card.
If you’re worried that this might be a bit too subtle and that people will turn up with their children anyway, you could add a line somewhere on the invitation (or on a separate piece or paper or card included with the invitation).
Put something like: “After giving it much thought, we have decided not to invite any children to our wedding. The structure of our day and the location is not suitable for children. We hope you will understand.”
Or you could put something briefer like “Regrettably we are unable to invite children. We hope you will understand.”
This has the advantage of making it sound as though it is the venue’s decision and not yours.
By including a note like this you’ll avoid any potential dramas of people turning up with their kids only to discover that it’s an adults-only wedding.